


Sweet Omega o' mine

by asamandra



Category: Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, F/M, Laura Barton is Barney's Omega, M/M, Omega Clint Barton, Rape/Non-con Elements, non-consenual bonding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2018-07-11 03:54:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7027450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asamandra/pseuds/asamandra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Are you fucking kidding me?” Clint yelled and threw his hands in the air. </p><p>“Come on, Barton, you are…” Tony started but Clint stopped in front of him - very, very close - and pointed a finger into his face. </p><p>“Don’t ‘come on, Barton,’ me!” He snapped. </p><p>“It’s not the first time you helped,” Steve said quietly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MaldicionDeLuna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaldicionDeLuna/gifts).



**Present day**

 

“Shit!” Barney startled and cursed as soon as he saw his brother. Clint sat on his couch, his legs drawn up to his body, his arms wrapped around them, and he had his chin on his knees. It was dark in the house and so Barney hadn’t see him immediately when he opened the door. But then he had switched on the light, spotted him and jumped out of his skin when Clint looked up. “What the fuck are you doing here?” Barney asked when he had regained his composure. 

Clint didn’t answer, he just shrugged and continued to stare into space. Barney sighed, put the grocery bags he held in his arms onto the counter in the kitchen and went back to the living room to sit down on the couch, too. Halfway there he could smell it. Another Alpha’s smell intermingled with his brother’s familiar scent. 

“Clint?” He stopped to scrutinize his brother. Usually an Omega didn’t look like someone kicked their puppy when they bonded with an Alpha, quite the contrary. But Clint never wanted to have a bond. “Clint,” he repeated and the younger man turned his head and looked away. 

Barney finally sat down. “What happened?” He asked and when Clint looked in his direction he saw tears in his eyes. “Talk to me,” he demanded with a slight growl in his throat. Clint was his brother and he felt responsible for him, especially since he made it up with him a few years ago. 

“Nothing,” Clint eventually mumbled and looked away again. “Everything is fine.” 

“Bullshit! Everything is anything but fine!” He snapped and scolded himself for a moment when Clint flinched. “You know you can tell me, little brother,” he said and this time he forced himself to talk quietly to him. 

“I’ve been an idiot,” Clint snorted suddenly and wiped away the tears in his eyes. He glared angrily in his direction and Barney raised a brow. 

“Tell me something new,” he said before he could stop himself and Clint snorted again. 

“Yeah, you always said that,” he muttered before he leaned back against the backrest again. “I fucked it up, Barney.” 

“What happened?” He repeated and Clint took a deep breath. 

“I only wanted to help,” he said and licked his lips. Barney didn’t interrupt him, he just let him talk. “I’ve told you about Steve’s friend Bucky?” Clint looked up and Barney nodded quietly. “Well, Steve found him…” 

 

_**7 days earlier** _

_”Hey, Barton,” Tony said and stopped beside him. “Is it true?” Clint stood on the roof of the new Avengers HQ, his arms on the balustrade, and watched the quinjet land._

_“Nat called and said they have him, so…” He shrugged._

_“That’s… wow. Did she say how they could manage it?” Tony leaned on the balustrade with his forearms and looked down at the airfield._

_“No, not yet,” he said. The hatch opened and Steve, Sam and Natasha left the aircraft, followed by another man. He wore a hoodie and a baseball hat and had a rucksack on his back. His hair was long and unkempt and he had a scruffy beard. He looked around nervously when he saw people - SHIELD personnel - staring at him. His left hand, the one with the black glove, twitched a few times but then Steve put a hand on his shoulder and he relaxed quite a bit. Natasha led the way and the three men followed her to the building._

_“So, that’s the famous Winter Soldier,” Tony said and followed them with his eyes. “Doesn’t look so dangerous,” he added, and Clint couldn’t hold back a snort._

_“You have no idea,” he said and scratched his right shoulder absentmindedly. The scar there always reminded him of the last encounter he had had with the Winter Soldier and the three weeks he had spent in the hospital ward._

_They both watched the three men and Natasha walk into the building and Steve looked up to them for a moment, nodded and smiled._

_Clint sighed and pushed himself off of the balustrade and straightened his back. “I need coffee,” he declared and then he patted Tony’s shoulder. “You coming, tin man?”_

_“Yeah,” Tony said and followed Clint to the door back into the building._

_“So, how’s Pepper doing? Haven’t seen her in a while,” Clint asked and Tony’s smile broadened._

_“She’s kicking ass,” he said. “She knows how to handle the board better than I did.”_

_“Yeah.” Clint grinned. “She’s pretty badass. Unlike a certain genius I know.”_

_Tony tried to slap his arm and Clint jumped away laughingly. “I am pretty badass myself,” he declared and Clint couldn’t hold back a laugh._

_“Yeah, you keep telling that to yourself,” he teased and Tony chuckled slightly and shook his head. The bad feeling he had had when he saw the Winter Soldier arrive was gone._

_**6 days earlier** _

_Clint was still half asleep when he entered the breakfast room. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands and padded barefoot to the coffee maker. He could feel the beads of sweat on his forehead and his back._

_“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” Tony teased but Clint ignored him. In his defence, he couldn’t hear him, his hearing aids were in the pockets of his sweats, so he ignored him with no ill intents. But when he had filled a cup with coffee, downed it in one big gulp and had refilled it he turned around to see Tony and Tasha sitting at the table, eating breakfast._

_‘Morning’, Tasha signed and Clint realized that he wasn’t wearing his aids. He put his mug down and fumbled the small devices into his ears before he sat down._

_“Hey,” he finally said and Tony smirked. “Had a long night?”_

_“Nah,” Clint shook his head and wiped away the sweat. “It’s… I don’t know… I don’t… is anyone of you guys…” He stopped and bit his lips. Tony looked at Natasha and frowned._

_“Anything wrong?” She asked now and Clint took a deep breath._

_“You… are you going into rut?” He finally asked and looked at the genius. Natasha shared a glance with Tony before he answered._

_“Of course not. I wouldn’t be here if I were close to my cycle,” he said and sounded a little indignant. When Clint turned to look at Natasha she only raised a brow. She may have been an Alpha when she hit puberty but after the red room she was… well… her file said beta but they all knew what these monsters had done to her._

_“I know that Steve’s rut was a month ago and since he’s bonded to Sharon his pheromones don’t affect me anymore,” he said then and bit his lip. Bruce, Sam and Wanda were betas, Vision and Thor were different and currently Clint was the only Omega in the team._

_“Why do you ask?” Tony wanted to know now._

_“I feel as if… you know… as if an Alpha…” He stopped, looked from Tony to Natasha and back. “Shit! Barnes is an Alpha, right?”_

_Tony once again shared a glance with Natasha and then he shrugged. “I don’t know. Do you…”_

_Natasha shook her head._

_“We should tell Cap and we need to call Dr. Cho,” Natasha said and - for once - Tony agreed with her._

_“Yeah, you’re right,” he said. “FRIDAY, can you let Steve know we need him here?” And after a few seconds he added, “And call Dr. Cho, we need her to check on Barnes as soon as possible.”_

_“Yes, sir,” the female voice of Tony’s new AI answered._

_“Maybe you should take a shower before she arrives,” Natasha suggested and looked at the drops of sweat running over Clint’s chest._

_“I’ve been in the shower before I came down here,” he muttered and rubbed his eyes again. “But yeah, shower is a good idea,” he said, emptied his mug and left the breakfast room without looking back. So he missed the slightly worried glances Natasha and Tony shared once again._

_**5 days earlier** _

_“Are you fucking kidding me?” Clint yelled and threw his hands in the air._

_“Come on, Barton, you are…” Tony started but Clint stopped in front of him - very, very close - and pointed a finger into his face._

_“Don’t ‘come on, Barton,’ me!” he snapped._

_“It’s not the first time you helped,” Steve said quietly and Clint turned to him now. “I mean, Natasha said you… you… and Coulson...” he stammered when Clint glared angrily at him._

_“Oh, and because I helped a friend means you can pimp me out?” He spat and Steve blushed violently._

_“No, Clint, that wasn’t… I mean… you’re the only one I would trust with this,” he said. Clint pressed his lips together._

_“So, now we’re trying the guilt trip,” he said sarcastically._

_“Jeez, Clint,” Tony said now. “It is a fact that you are the only unbonded Omega here and…”_

_“... and it’s my decision whom I have sex with! We’re not in the sixties anymore, Stark!”_

_“Clint,” Natasha said now. She didn’t raise her voice but this one word made him stop immediately. “Can I talk to him alone for a moment?” She said and Steve nodded and shooed the rest of the team out of the living room. Clint still stood behind the couch and glared at them. Natasha went to him, grabbed his arm and dragged him around. “Sit down,” she said._

_“I don’t want to…” he started but Natasha interrupted him._

_“Sit!” She snapped now. Clint sat down, realized what he had done and cursed his Omega instincts inwardly. Natasha saw his dark expression and sighed. “Sorry,” she said. She knew that he hated his instincts that told him to obey an Alpha without hesitation, and she had just used that against him._

_“So, you wanted to talk,” he said, and folded his arms over his chest. “Talk!”_

_Natasha sat down, and pinched the bridge of her nose for a moment. “Steve’s right, Clint,” she said, and when he opened his mouth to protest she stopped him with a raised hand. “Let me finish.” Clint shut his mouth with an audible click. “Barnes was on suppressants for the last 70 years, Dr. Cho said. And you know yourself, it’s not… it’s far from healthy and only the fact that he’s a super-soldier let him survive it. Without the serum? He’d be dead as a dodo. He didn’t have a rut in 70 years, Clint, and while I can understand you probably more than anyone of them I have to admit that Steve’s right.” She sat up a bit and placed her arms on her legs. “It’s not about you being the only unbonded Omega around, Clint, it’s… you’re you. You’re strong and tough and Barnes… he’s a futzing super-soldier. How many Omegas do you think can handle him, can keep up with him?”_

_Clint didn’t stop glaring but he took a deep breath and shook his head. She had a point there. He knew that a few Omega-agents were registered as service Omegas who would help out if one of the Alpha-agents was in need. But he also knew that Barnes would most likely crush them. Not all Omegas were build like him, quite the contrary, and his own physique was courtesy of a lot of hard work and discipline._

_“And why doesn’t someone else…” he started. Natasha raised a brow._

_“He hasn’t had a rut in 70 years, Clint. He needs to knot. I would do it but you know that I can’t take his knot nor can anyone else on the team,” she said. Clint huffed, and was quiet for another long moment before he huffed again._

_“How’s that even supposed to work? I mean, I know he affects me already, but… it will take a few more days till I can go into heat.” He wanted to know._

_“Dr. Cho can give you something to trigger your heat faster,” she explained._

_Clint was quiet again. He turned his head and glared at the empty armchair beside him for a moment, his lips pursed and his arms still folded over his chest. Then he took a deep breath and looked at Natasha again. “Okay. Fine.” And when she opened her mouth to say something he continued. “But only under the condition that he’s not allowed to claim me while I’m in heat. I mean it, Natasha. If he’s… if he’s going to do that you need to stop him.”_

_“Promise!” She smiled._

_“Fine, let’s do it.”_

_“Okay,” Natasha rose and held out her hand to pull Clint up, too. When he stood she pointed at the door with her chin. “Dr. Cho will give you a shot and in a few hours you should feel the heat starting,” she said._

_“Yeah, whatever,” he muttered under his breath, but he followed her out of the living room only to see the rest of the team assembled and waiting for him._

_“He agreed,” Natasha said and Steve smiled with relief._

_“Thank you,” he said and Clint turned to the super soldier._

_“Don’t make me regret this decision.”_


	2. Chapter 2

**Present day**

 

“Oh, shit!” Barney cursed and rose. Clint turned his head to the side and showed him the bite mark. “Oh, shit! I’m going to kill the bastard,” he declared and strode toward the door. 

“Barney!” Clint stopped him. 

“No, no, I’m going to kill him _and_ Captain America!” He went to his weapons locker.

“I’m pretty sure they will kill you before you can even raise your crossbow,” Clint replied. Barney turned to him and glared again. But then he deflated. 

“Then what do you want to do?” he asked and sat down again. 

“I don’t know. I’m not sure,” Clint admitted. He really had had no idea what he wanted to do and where he wanted to go when he had left the tower hurriedly. He also had no idea why he was _here_. He just drove away with his bike. Apparently some weird instincts led him here to his brother, his big brother.

“You can stay here as long as you need, Clint, but…” Barney gestured at the bite mark in his neck. He knew as well that sooner or later he would have to face Barnes. His goddamn biology dictated that he would have to see _his_ Alpha again. 

“I know!” Clint snapped and he fought to keep the tears from running over his face. He knew that he was fucked, literally. “I know,” he repeated quietly afterwards. 

“Clint…” 

“I’ve told them to keep him in line, to keep him from claiming me, Barney, but…” 

 

_**3 days earlier** _

_The shot Dr. Cho had given him had done its job and Clint’s skin felt too tight, too hot and he was slick in the morning, the typical signs that he was in heat. He had emptied a whole bottle of water only an hour ago, and was thirsty as if he hadn’t had water in day. Sweat ran over his chest, his back and his forehead. Yes, he definitely was in heat. And he could smell him, Barnes, immediately when he entered Steve’s apartment._

_Steve, who had opened the door for Clint, led him into the living room where he saw Barnes sitting on an armchair. Here Clint was by a full dose of his pheromones and he felt his knees buckle. Luckily, Steve was there to catch him before he could hit the floor. But that wasn’t a good idea because Barnes came over to him, growled at Steve and reached for his, Clint’s, arm in a rather possessive gesture. In retrospect, this should’ve warned him, but Clint was already too far gone in his heat.He almost purred when Barnes sniffed his neck, and growled at Steve._

_“I guess I leave you two alone,” he said and Clint knew this was his second mistake. He should’ve insisted that Steve stay at least in the living room. But he didn’t. Quite the contrary, he pressed himself against Barnes as he inhaled another dose of his alluring pheromones and when he grabbed his arm to lead him to his bedroom, Clint followed him eagerly._

_As soon as the door was closed Barnes sniffed his neck again and, this time, Clint actually purred when he touched his arms. He made short work of Clint’s shirt. He just ripped it off of his body, and licked his naked, sweaty skin. Another growl rumbled in his chest as he shoved Clint over to the bed._

_“You know…” Clint started when Barnes shoved him onto the mattress, “... no biting.”_

_Barnes growled once more, and was on him in an instant. Sniffing and licking at his neck, and Clint could feel his pants were really tight at the moment. It felt so, so good when Barnes touched him, as he licked over his heated skin, and when he fumbled with the belt on Clint’s pants, he eagerly lifted his hips to help him get them off him. When Clint was naked, he slid into the middle of the bed, but Barnes was on him again only a second later. He barely managed to get rid of his own clothes, and he simply tore his own shirt because he was so on edge. When he was naked too, he grabbed Clint’s hips and flipped him over onto his knees. With his metal hand, Barnes grabbed Clint’s neck, and pressed his head into the mattress so his ass was raised and accessible for him - the typical ‘Omega in heat’ position. Barnes leaned over him, his hardness pressing into his crack, and he licked his neck. Clint purred again, it felt so good, so right, and he gasped when Barnes reached around him to tease his nipples. He whined slightly, they were so sensitive already and right now he wanted nothing more than to get mounted._

_Barnes couldn’t hold himself back any longer. He probed Clint's ass with one finger, just to see if Clint was slick enough before he lined himself up and shoved his cock in in one hard thrust. Clint groaned loud, because that was exactly what he needed right now, and the tightness of his skin started to ease when Barnes fucked him hard. He pressed his cheeks into the mattress to present to the Alpha mounting him even more, wanted the touch of his hands on his hips and spread his legs as far as possible. Barnes’ grip on his hips was bruising, he knew that, but he couldn’t care less right now. He wanted to feel him, needed him._

_He also knew that this first time wouldn’t last that long, and when Barnes shifted a bit and hit his prostate with every thrust, he felt an orgasm well up. His back arched, his toes curled and he pressed his face even deeper into the blankets beneath him when the blinding white finally washed over him, and he came with a hoarse groan. He squeezed his channel and that shoved Barnes over the edge, too, and the man groaned only a moment later as his knot started to swell, tying them together, and then his come flooded into him. He rocked slightly a few more times, but he wasn’t able to move too much anymore and he slumped over Clint's back, and breathed hard into his neck. They stayed in this position for a few seconds, then Barnes reached around him, wrapped his arm around his hip and managed to maneuver them into a halfway comfortable position, lying on their sides, still tied together._

_“Thanks,” Barnes whispered, after a long moment, and kissed the back of his neck again. Clint dozed off in some half-sleep, and Barnes kept stroking his ribs and nuzzling his neck. He even managed to get the blanket over the two of them. Half an hour later he felt Barnes’ cock slide out of him and the man stirred behind him. Another whiff of Barnes' pheromones hit him, he was already ready for a second round. This would be a strenuous experience._

_But this time Barnes didn’t bother to get him into position, he just touched his ass with a finger to check if he was slick and then he shoved back in…_

 

**Present day**

 

“But that doesn’t explain that,” Barney said, pointing at his neck. Clint nodded slowly. 

“I know. At first, he managed to control himself. He was nice, so to speak. Brought food and energy drinks and wet towels and stuff, you know,” he said blushing. Barney nodded. Of course he knew. He was an Alpha himself after all. He knew that they were instinctually wired to care for an Omega during heat. “But we didn’t expect 70 years of suppressed rut would bite us in the ass, so to speak,” Clint snorted. “I’ve realized that he could barely control himself the first few times. But then another wave hit him, and this time he was too far gone to stop himself.” This time a tear ran over his face. 

 

_**3 days earlier** _

_Barnes fucked into him hard, really hard. His hands bruised his hips and Clint lay on the mattress and whimpered and groaned, not only with pleasure but also with pain. Once again Barnes leaned over him, licked his neck but this time it was different. He growled the whole time and a shiver ran down Clint’s spine._

_“Barnes,” he pressed through his teeth warningly when he felt him lick the gland in his neck. But this time Barnes ignored him. This time he didn’t pull back like the few times before, this time he used his weight to press Clint down into the mattress. And when he heard that very low rumble in his chest, Clint - even in his fuzzy-headed state - knew what Barnes planned to do._

_“No!” He yelled and started to struggle weakly. “No! Barnes, stop!” He tried to buck to get rid of him but the guy was not only heavier and bigger, he was a super-soldier, Clint was still enfeebled by his heat, and so his chances were that of a snowballs in hell._

_“Steve!! Natasha!!” He screamed, fighting in earnest now, and he even managed to hit Barnes with his leg, but that made the man only fight harder. Barnes used his elbow to press Clint down and he couldn’t move anymore. “No, Barnes! Barnes! James! Bucky!!” He bucked when he felt teeth scrape over the gland in his neck and he tried to move his head away, but Barnes had a good grip on his hair and held him in place. “NO! Steve!!”_

_And then Barnes bit down. Involuntarily, Clint orgasmed immediately, clenching his channel and spilling his seed onto the sheets beneath him. He felt Barnes lap up the blood and secretion from his neck. Felt his own body betray him, because it was the most pleasurable experience he ever had in his life. Felt Barnes shoot his load, and then his knot swelling until they were tied together. All that didn’t stop Clint from struggling, even if he still shivered in the aftershocks of the best orgasm of his life._

_“Stop that!” Barnes growled, “You’re hurting yourself!”_

_“Get the fuck off of me!” Clint screamed, and, right that moment Steve burst through the door into the bedroom, saw the mess that was Clint’s neck, and tried to pull Barnes off. A shout from Natasha, who was right behind him, stopped him._

_“He has knotted him, you’re going to injure both of them!”_

_“What have you done?” Steve snapped instead, but Barnes didn’t answer. He just growled threateningly, and Clint realized that he was serious. He would fight anyone who tried to get him, Clint, away from him._

_“He’s mine now,” he hissed, when Steve made a step in his direction anyway, and he wrapped an arm around the still struggling Clint. “Stop moving, you’re hurting yourself!” he snarled again, and when Clint didn’t stop, he slapped his ass. That hurt, and Clint was so shocked, he stopped._

_“Bucky,” Steve said slowly, taking another step, but now Barnes propped himself on one elbow, and literally bared his teeth. His growling became more threatening._

_“Go away!” he hissed, moving, and Clint screamed out. It felt like his intestines were being ripped out._

_“Steve!” Natasha warned, and Cap finally nodded, and retreated a few steps. He raised his hands in defensive gesture, but Barnes didn’t stop growling. Another strong wave of Alpha pheromones hit Clint’s nose, but not only Clint’s, who had involuntarily started to purr again. Steve bared his teeth, too, now._

_“Enough!” Natasha snapped, and stepped between the two Alphas. “Step back, Steve! You can’t do anything as long as they are tied together!” She looked at Cap. It took a few seconds but eventually he stopped growling and stepped back. Barnes wrapped his arm possessively around Clint once more, and glared at Natasha now._

_“Are you okay, Clint?” she asked, and he looked from her to Barnes and back, then he shook his head. “Half an hour,” she said, and Barnes' growling became threatening again._

_“Tasha,” Clint whispered, and she nodded slowly before she and Steve left the bedroom._


	3. Chapter 3

**Present day**

 

“When the knot deflated Steve and Nat got me out but…” Clint swallowed before he looked at Barney for a second. “But he… Barnes… his rut was still not over and…” 

“Wait, wait, wait… they left you with him?” Barney snapped and his expression darkened.

“We were tied together,” Clint explained but Barney shook his head. 

“They can induce a heat, don’t tell me your Avengers don’t have something to get you separated.” 

“He would've fought, Barney. Do you have the slightest idea how painful it is when your… when an Alpha starts to move too much while you’re knotted?” Clint asked. 

“Well, at least they had the decency to get you away from that bastard,” Barney growled and bared his teeth a tiny bit. When Clint looked away for a second his expression darkened even more. “You’re not gonna tell me you went back to him?” He sounded really angry. “I’m not sure if I should hit you over the head with a bat!” 

“What was I supposed to do, Barney? I… I need him now, I can’t… he had finished the claiming and...” He couldn’t finish his sentence but of course Barney knew what he meant. When an Alpha claims an Omega their body-chemistry changes immediately. Their scents intermingle and from this moment on the Omega can share their heat only with their bonded Alpha. Now Clint was bonded to Barnes. 

Barney’s voice was unusually quiet as he slid over to him, and put an arm around his shoulders. “Oh, Clint,” he said, the anger gone. He knew there was nothing he could say. Or do. He knew that Clint was bound together with Barnes for the rest of his life now. And this - Barney’s behavior right now - scared Clint even more. “Does he know where you are?” 

Clint snorted. 

“What do you think? That I’m an idiot?” He looked at his older brother, who only raised a brow. “I left everything they can use to track me back at HQ. And you know that I’ve never told anyone where your farm is.” 

“Yeah, yeah, okay, I get it.” Barney took a deep breath again. “Like I said, you can stay as long as you want. I’m pretty sure Laura is okay with it and the kids love to have you around.” 

“Thanks,” Clint whispered. “Where are they, by the way? No one was here when I got here.” 

“Laura’s visiting her parents and she took the kids with her. She’s back in a few days.” Barney rose once again from the couch, but this time he held a hand out for Clint to take. “It’s late, and you look like you need sleep. Let’s go to bed. You know where the guest room is. Make yourself at home.” 

Clint nodded, and followed Barney to the stairs that led to the upper floor. “Are you sure you get by?” He nodded again. Barney nodded, too, before he went to his own bedroom. 

Clint opened the first door on the right into the small guest room. Laura always referred to it as his, Clint’s, room because he was the only one who used it every now and then. He knew where to find cushions and blankets, and he made the bed in an instant, but then he lay there, stared at the ceiling, and couldn’t find sleep. 

The bond wasn’t strong enough yet for Barnes to find him through it. Clint had vanished as soon as his rut eased down. While Barnes slept like a dead man, Clint had grabbed his clothes, a few things he would need and rode away with his bike. A few miles outside of New York he had stopped at a gas station, searched for the tracker in his bike, removed it and slipped it into the pocket of a man who just had refueled his car and was now on his way into the shop. Clint had turned his bike around, and rode away in the other direction. At first, he had no idea where to go, but then it hit him. Barney. SHIELD thought he was dead, and the only person who knew that he was still alive had been Phil.

He had parked his bike in the shed where Barney’s tractor was, and let himself into the house when he realized no one was at home. And there he had waited for Barney. 

And now? Now he lay here, stared at the ceiling and had no idea what to do. If he just hadn’t listened to Steve… and Natasha. He had had a _home_ , a job, a _family_ and now? Now he was on the run from… from his Alpha. God, this was so awful. He never wanted an Alpha, he never wanted a bond. But now he needed Barnes to spend his heats with him. His pheromones were contaminated with Barnes Alpha-scent. No other Alpha would ever touch him again. But he didn’t want to spend his heats with Barnes, and there was only one solution for this problem. He needed suppressants. Of course, he knew about the risk to his health but the alternative was… well… Barnes, the man that had forcibly bonded him. He would somehow find a way to get suppressants, and he would never let Barnes touch him again. 

Eventually, he fell asleep, and the next morning the scent of coffee woke him. Barney stood beside his bed, a cup with the black gold in his hand, and he grinned when he placed the mug on the nightstand. 

“Oh man, you’re saving a life,” Clint muttered, and reached for the mug. Burney chuckled, and left him alone. He took a long sip of his coffee, leaning back to think about his situation. Since his heat had been induced only days ago, he wouldn’t get one for a while. That meant, he had time to find a way to procure some suppressants. He knew this wasn’t going to be easy, since they were technically illegal. 

He left the bed, and went to the children’s bathroom to shower. 

“Hey,” Barney called a few minutes later. Clint was already dressed and on his way down to the kitchen. “Do you think you can help me with the horses today?” 

“Sure,” Clint said, and refilled his mug. “What’s to do?” 

“I need to repair the paddock fence, and it’s easier with a little help. And later the blacksmith will come. Lila’s horse needs new horseshoes” 

“Okay,” Clint nodded. Maybe some hard work would distract him. And he liked horses. 

Together they repaired the fence, and Barney didn’t even mock him for being quiet. They just worked side by side, and the only words spoken were commands what to do now. Later, when the blacksmith came, Barney helped him, and Clint took one of the other horses for a ride. He needed to be alone for a while. 

“Uncle Clint! Uncle Clint!” Barney’s kids called when he came back as soon as he was visible from the house, and both, Cooper and Lila, ran over to him. He dismounted and bent down a bit so the two could hug him. 

“Hey!” he said with a broad grin, and wrapped his arms around the two of them. “My, how you’ve grown!” He ruffled Cooper’s hair, and Lila giggled when he kissed her forehead. 

“Why didn’t dad tell us you were coming?” Cooper asked, and Clint sighed. 

“He didn’t know I was coming. It was a surprise,” he said. Lila grabbed his hand and dragged him to the house. Cooper took the reins of his horse and brought it to the stable. 

“How long will you stay?” The little girl asked. Clint shrugged.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. 

“Lila, let you Uncle Clint come in before you continue to interrogate him,” Laura said. She leaned in the entrance door, her arms folded over her chest, a warm smile on her lips. Clint noticed she was pregnant again. When he and Lila were close she opened her arms and hugged him. “Hey,” she whispered quietly. She didn’t ask him how he was, she knew him too well. 

“Hey,” he said, too, and hugged her back. 

“Come in, I’ve made fresh coffee. Barney will come in in a few as well. I’ve seen the blacksmith’s car leave half an hour ago.

“Mom, when Chuckie finally has new horseshoes, can I go for a ride later?” Lila asked, and Laura smiled again and nodded.

“Sure, sweetie,” she said. Lila huffed. 

“Don’t call me sweetie,” she said, and folded her arms over her chest. Her small pout looked adorable, and Clint couldn’t hold back a smile. She stormed off, and Laura sighed.

“She thinks she’s too old for nicknames,” she explained. But Lila was already laughing as she ran over to the paddock where Chuckie was grazing. Barney was there, too, but Clint couldn’t see what he and Cooper were doing inside of the Paddock. 

Laura went to the coffee maker and filled a mug with coffee, came back and gave it to Clint.

“You know that I can smell it, right?” She asked. Clint still looked out of the open door to his brother and he took a long sip of his coffee before he finally turned around. He followed Laura back into the kitchen and sat down at the table. 

“Why… why did you chose to bond with Barney?” He asked instead of an answer. 

“What… well, I loved him. Clint, your brother may be far from perfect but he’s a good man, a good Alpha. He’s a good father,” she said. 

“But… have you ever regretted it? I mean… it’s forever,” he wanted to know. Laura took a deep breath and looked at him for a long moment. 

“Sometimes I have these thoughts, you know, what if… what if I had chosen another Alpha? What if I had never formed a bond at all?” She put a hand over Clint’s. “But then I look at my children, and I know it was the right decision.” 

“I told him I didn’t want a bond,” he said quietly. “He… he didn’t listen. He was so consumed by his rut.” 

“That’s no excuse,” Laura said and shook her head. 

“He hasn’t had a rut in… in years,” Clint mumbled. Laura cocked her head and frowned.

“Are you trying to find excuses for him?” She folded her arms over her chest.

“What? No…” He said, but then he realized that he had just used Steve’s words. Steve had said that Barnes hadn’t had a rut in many, many years, and now Clint was trying to find an excuse for his own… for _his own Alpha_. “Shit!”

“Mom, Uncle Clint said a bad word.” Clint heard Lila’s voice behind him and turned around. She stood there, a riding helmet in her hands, and looked unsure at her mom. 

“It’s… we’ll talk about it, sweetie,” Laura said. “Go on, don’t let Chuckie wait.” 

“I’m sorry,” Clint said when the girl finally left the house and ran back to her father, waiting with her horse at the paddock. 

“I didn’t want to accuse you, Clint. I know it’s…” She stopped, and Clint snorted bitterly.

“I know. My fucking biology!” he spat. 

“Clint, I…” Laura started, but stopped when someone entered the kitchen again.

“Lila is…” Barney stopped too and looked from Clint to Laura and back. “Is everything okay?” 

“No,” Clint snapped, shoved the mug away and rose. “Everything is not okay. Everything is fucked up and…” He didn’t finish his sentence before he could say something that would hurt them. “I’m sorry, but…” He gestured at the stairs and walked away. 

“Let him go.” He heard Laura’s quiet voice behind him, and he was thankful that she held Barney back. He needed to be alone. He needed to think about his future, or what was left of it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Six weeks later**

 

Clint took a deep breath, and supported himself at the fence when his head began to spin again. He glared at the wheelbarrow beside him and the horse shit in it. He had done that every day for the last few weeks, and now he became lightheaded shoving it? It was almost as if he was going into heat again, but he had just had one - induced admittedly - so he wouldn’t just get another one, would he? 

“Are you okay, Uncle Clint?” Cooper asked. Clint startled. He hadn’t even heard the boy coming up to him, and that scared him even more. 

“I’m… I’m fine,” he lied and took a deep breath. “I’m just taking a break,” he added, and tried to smile reassuringly, but Cooper didn’t buy it. 

“You don’t look fine,” he said. “Do you want me to get dad? Or mom?” 

“No, it’s okay. I… I just need a minute.” Cooper scrutinized him, but finally he nodded. The boy walked back to the stable, and Clint watched him leave. He needed… he needed a doctor. He needed _his_ doctor. 

“Coop,” Clint called and a few seconds later the boy looked out of the door at him. “Will you tell your dad that I have to go into town? I have to get something,” he said. 

“Okay, Uncle Clint.” He nodded, but didn’t go back into the building. He stood there and watched him.

“I’ll be back this afternoon,” Clint said. He took a deep breath and pushed himself off of the fence. Swaying, he went into the kitchen - Laura and Lila were in the garden behind the house - and filled a glass with water. He emptied it, and felt a little bit better afterwards. 

His bike was in the shed and still swaying a little bit, he went over, put on the helmet, and opened the door. But when he started the engine, Laura came around the house and waved, but Clint didn’t stop. He rode down the country road, and tried not to look into the rearview mirror.

***

Three hours later, he sat in a diner, a cup of coffee in front of him, and he stared at the prepaid phone for the umpteenth time. He had to try a few numbers, but eventually managed to get to the man he needed to talk to. And now he waited for him.

“Mr. Smith,” a voice said, and Clint looked up from his phone. Beside his table stood a middle-aged man with a receding hairline and a mustache. Clint knew he should be worried that he hadn’t heard him appear. The man wore glasses and an old fashioned corduroy jacket with patches on the elbows. He sat down opposite of Clint without invitation, and put his hands onto the table, folded them and smiled. “It’s been a long time,” the man said with a tiny smile.

“I know,” Clint said. He put his phone into the pocket of his jacket and looked around carefully. No one was listening. “I need your help,” he added then. 

“And I always thought SHIELD provides good healthcare for their assets,” the man said, and his smile broadened a tiny bit. Clint’s eyes went wide. “Of course, I watch the news, Mr. _Smith_.” 

“Oh,” was Clint’s not so elaborate answer, but then he cleared his throat. “Yeah, SHIELD doesn’t need to know everything,” he said. The man nodded.

“So, what can I do for you?” He wanted to know and Clint looked around again. When no one looked in their direction he took a piece of paper out of his pocket and shoved it over the table. The man took it, opened it, read and his eyes widened. 

“Are you sure?” He asked. Clint took a deep breath but then he nodded. 

“I will need a few days,” he said then. He took the paper and rose. “I’ll call you.”

Clint took a sip from his mug and waited till the man had left before he payed for his coffee and left, too. But on his way out of the diner he stumbled, his head felt dizzy again. He barely managed to grab the backrest of a chair. 

The waitress came over to him, a worried expression on her face.

“Are you okay, Mister?” She asked but then her eyes went wide. “Man, you shouldn’t be here in your state,” she added then. 

Clint stared at her bewildered. “What?” 

“You shouldn’t be here,” she repeated. “You’re…” She stopped when she saw his expression. “Do you want me to call someone? Your Alpha?” He looked at her for a long moment, wondering what she meant. But then he remembered, people could smell now that he was a claimed Omega, his pheromones were… tainted.

“What?” Clint asked again. But then he shook his head. “No. No, I’m… I’m okay,” he said. 

“You don’t look okay,” the waitress said. “And you…” she looked around, lowered her voice. “You _smell_. You should be at home with your Alpha.” 

Clint opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again only to turn around and _running_ to the door. Or better, swaying, stumbling. 

Somehow he managed to get to his bike but his head felt so dizzy and his skin way too tight. It felt almost as if he’d get a heat but that was impossible. He had just had a heat, he wouldn't get another one. It was impossible. 

Clint almost groaned when he moved his leg over the saddle of his bike. It felt as if it was made of clay. He put his helmet on and started the engine. He knew that it was dangerous to drive himself but he couldn’t call Laura, not as heavily pregnant as she was right now and he also couldn’t call Barney. He would punch him, just because. And Nat was also not an option. When Nat knew where he was then the rest of the team would find out sooner or later. 

He started the engine and merged into the traffic. With a little luck he would manage to get back _home_ , back to Barney’s farm. 

About ten minutes later another wave hit him. Clint squirmed on his bike, everything went dizzy and his skin felt way too tight and heated again. Maybe it was a mistake to drive himself. He should’ve called a taxi. Or Barney. He barely managed to avoid hitting a car when he swerved. A drop of sweat ran into his left eye and it blocked his view. Only for a second but this second was too long. 

Clint swerved again, he tried to get the drop out of his eye and that’s why he missed the pick-up, that’s why he accidentally ignored the driver’s right of way. And that’s why the driver couldn’t stop in time. The pick-up hit the rear wheel, and Clint lost the control over his bike. He got thrown off of it and hit the pick-up with his head and his shoulder. And the last thing he heard before he lost consciousness was the screeching of brakes.

***

“Clint,” someone said. Everything hurt. His head hurt, his shoulder hurt, his knees hurt, his skin felt too tight and too hot.. But he would recognize this voice every time.

“Nat?” He groaned and opened an eye. His surrounding looked a lot like a hospital and Natasha sat in a chair beside him.

“We were worried,” she said, and Clint turned his head a tiny bit. It wasn’t his best idea, he had to admit, he nauseated. Natasha handed him a vomit bowl when he started to retch. 

“What… what happened?” He mumbled and tried not to puke. 

Natasha took a deep breath and leaned back. She pinched the bridge of her nose for a moment. “Well, apparently…” She stopped for a moment, bit her lip before she continued, “Dr. Cho said there are still remains of the heat-inducing agent in your blood and triggered another heat after only a few weeks. You lost the control over your bike and got hit by a pick-up. Luckily you wore a helmet, otherwise we would be at your funeral right now. You have a clavicle fracture on the left side, a concussion, and skinned your knees,” she explained. 

“Where am I?” He asked quietly, and looked around again. He had a suspicion, but he wanted to hear it. 

“You’re in the infirmary at HQ,” she confirmed. “One of the paramedics recognized you and called the tower. Tony… Tony personally saw to it that you’d be brought here, to get the best medical treatment available.” 

“Why?” He closed his eyes for a few seconds. “Why? Why can’t you just leave me alone? All of you?” 

“Clint, you… you’re going into heat, you’re injured and… you need _him_ ,” she said. 

“No!” He almost sat up and then he cried out. Everything hurt like hell. “No, fuck!” 

“Clint, you…” she started again but he interrupted her.

“No way in hell you let this… this _man_...” he stopped to take a few deep breaths. “I don’t want to see him!” 

“Okay,” she gave in after a long moment. “But…” 

“No!” He snapped and lay back down. “I… I want to leave,” he added then. “An… an ordinary hospital will do it.” 

“Clint, please…” Natasha reached for his hand but he pulled it away. He saw her hurt expression and was almost sorry. Almost. 

“No, I… I’ll leave,” he said, and tried to sit up. But his body hurt like hell, and he broke into perspiration in an instant. He couldn’t hold back a painful groan. Natasha reached for a glass of water with a straw and held it out for him. Clint turned his head away. 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she said. 

“Yeah, no. God knows what you’ve done with it,” he mumbled. 

“You’re an asshole, Barton,” Natasha hissed. 

“What? _I_ am the asshole? Who promised to stop that… that asshat, and then let him do _that_ to me?” Clint snapped. He glared angrily at her. 

“I’m sorry, Clint, it’s…” She said, probably for the umpteenth time. 

“No. I won’t stay,” he said. “Not as long as _he_ is here.” 

“You know that’s irrational. You can’t leave. Not in your current condition. And he’s…” Natasha started, but Clint stopped her with a harsh gesture with his left hand. 

“... never touching me again!” He finished the sentence. 

“You need him,” Natasha said. The glance, he threw in her direction, would’ve let lesser people falter. But Natasha only rose and went to the door. “I’m still sorry for what happened, Clint, and believe me, if I could undo it, I would.” 

She opened the door to leave, and Clint looked at her. But then his blood ran cold. She passed someone with long, brown hair, and Clint knew that it was _him_. A whiff of his scent hit his nose and he could barely hold back the purr. Barnes turned his head and looked at him for a second, and his glance seemed almost worried, before Natasha closed the door. 

“Fuck!” He cursed, and tried to rise again. Nat was right. He was in no condition to leave. Not yet. At least his phone was here. It lay on the nightstand and with his right hand he reached for it. He needed to let Barney know where he was. But as soon as Dr. Cho said he could leave, he would go again. 

He sent a text to Barney, put his phone back onto the nightstand, and closed his eyes. His head felt fuzzy, and it was so hot, so, so hot inside. Maybe he could sleep a bit before it would get worse.


	5. Chapter 5

Natasha just entered the communal living room in HQ when FRIDAY announced a visitor. She had visited Clint again, who was still not letting Bucky see him. He was in a state of enormous discomfort, the pain from his injuries paired with his heat wasn’t fun, to put it mildly. But when she suggested to let Bucky in again, he threw her out. 

“Who is it?” Steve - who had talked to Sam quietly when she entered - asked, when the AI said that someone was outside of the door, his brows furrowed and his head cocked. 

“He said he’s Agent Barton’s brother,” FRIDAY said, and Steve’s frown deepened. 

“His brother?” He looked at Natasha now, and Sam rose from his armchair and went to the screen at the opposite wall to take a look at the man in front of the door. Without having to ask FRIDAY switched to the camera of the entrance area. 

“Barney,” Natasha explained, and Steve folded his arms angrily over his chest. 

“I thought Clint said his brother is dead?” He went to Sam and looked over his shoulder. Natasha flopped in an empty armchair, and pinched the bridge of her nose. 

“Technically he never said…” Natasha started, but Steve interrupted her with a harsh gesture with his hand. 

“What does he want? And how does he know where the HQ is? And…” He asked, stopped himself, groaned and hit his forehead with his palm. “We didn’t take away his phone.” 

“Clint’s not a prisoner, Steve,” Sam said with a shrug. “If he wants to see his brother…” He didn’t finish his sentence. 

“FRIDAY, will you let him in, but let him wait in the entrance hall. We’re on our way,” Steve said, glared at Natasha, and went to the door. 

Natasha sighed, but rose and went with him and Sam down to the entrance hall. The way Steve held his shoulders told her that he was angry. 

“Where’s Clint!” The man waiting in the entrance hall snapped angrily at them as soon as they entered. 

“You are Barney Barton?” Steve asked, and went over to him, watching him carefully. Natasha knew that FRIDAY already ran a scan of him, and would warn them if she’d find something abnormal. 

“I want to see my brother! ASAP!” He made a threatening step in Steve’s direction. 

“Mr. Barton, please,” Sam tried, but Barton ignored him. 

“He wants to leave, and I’m here to pick him up,” he snapped. 

“He can’t leave, Mr. Barton. He’s injured, he has a clavicle fracture and a concussion, and he’s in heat,” Steve said, and looked at Sam for a moment. “And he refuses to get the help he needs,” he added after a moment. 

“The help he needs?” Barton spat, and made another step in Steve’s direction. “The help he needs?” He repeated. A vein started to throb at his temple. “You forced this on him, and…” He closed his mouth with an audible click. “I want to see my brother,” he said then. 

“Steve,” Natasha said, and stopped him before he could say something, he would regret later. 

“Fine,” Steve nodded briskly, and turned around. Natasha frowned. She had never seen him get so angry out of the blue. “Follow me.” 

The three Avengers knew, that FRIDAY would watch them, and tell the others that Barton was here to get his brother. And indeed, as soon as they arrived at the infirmary Tony and Bruce just came around a corner. Beside the door was Bucky, still sitting on the very same chair he sat on for the last two days, since they brought Clint back to HQ. But he rose when they came closer to the door. 

Barton stopped for a moment when he saw all the men in front of Clint’s room. He gritted his teeth and glared at Bucky, and Natasha could see him struggle with himself if he should knock him out right there and then, or not. And Bucky started to growl possessively, and made a step to his left to stand in front of the door.

“Bucky, step back,” Steve said, one hand raised. 

“Who’s that?” Bucky snarled, and made another step to his left. He blocked the entire door now. 

“Buck,” Steve said again. “Step back! Clint’s brother is here to see him.” Bucky didn’t stop growling. And Barton didn’t step back, either. He planted himself in front of Bucky, and if looks could kill the super soldier would’ve burnt to ash in an instant. 

“Bucky,” Steve said for the third time, and this time Bucky looked away from Barton, looked at Steve, and finally cleared the way. 

Barton held Bucky’s eyes for another long moment, before he passed him, opened the door and went in. 

“What does he want here, Steve,” Bucky snarled the moment the door closed behind Barton. 

“He… he wants to pick him up,” Steve admitted, and took a deep breath. Bucky’s face darkened and he started to growl again. 

“What? He can’t take him away,” Bucky said, and clenched his fists. “He’s…” 

“Yours?” Natasha asked, and made a step in his direction. Bucky’s head snapped around and he glared at her threateningly. But he didn’t say a word.

“He’s not yours, he can go whenever he wants, wherever he wants,” Natasha added, and Bucky’s face darkened even more. 

“He needs me! He’s in heat, and he can’t deal with it on his own,” Bucky growled. 

“He doesn’t even want to see you,” Tony mentioned with a shrug, and Natasha was sure Bucky would hit him any moment. But Steve put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder and stopped him. 

“Bucky, I think it’s better when you get yourself a cup of coffee,” he said. Bucky glared at all of them for another long moment, but then he turned around briskly and stormed away. Natasha released the breath she had held in her lungs, and looked at Steve. 

“Damn,” Cap murmured, and wiped over his face with one hand. 

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Natasha said, and smiled. 

“What do we do when he really wants to leave?” Bruce asked now, and looked at the door. All of them shared glances, and it was Steve, who cast his eyes down first. 

“We let him go. What else can we do?” He swallowed hard. “It’s… it’s my fault and…” Steve stopped, and gritted his teeth. “If I hadn’t talked him into it…” 

“If wishes were horses,” Sam muttered, but Natasha’s nasty glance stopped him. “We can’t do anything about the bond now. It happened, and we have to deal with it.” 

“You mean, Clint has to deal with it,” Tony said. He looked over his shoulder at the door, but it stayed quiet inside. 

“The only thing we can do is to help him, if he let us,” Sam agreed. 

“Okay,” Steve nodded. “Sam, can you stay here, if they need anything. And the rest of us…” He looked around, at all of them, and he didn’t have to finish his sentence. They all nodded, and went back to whatever they were doing before Barton arrived.

***

“Do I want to know?” Barney asked the moment he closed the door behind himself. He was hit by a strong wave of Clint’s pheromones. He was in the middle of his heat, and looked at him with glazed-over, pain-filled eyes.

“Barney,” Clint groaned, when he recognized him. “You came for me?” 

“Of course I came. Laura was so worried when you didn’t come back, and Lila cried because she thought you were dead, asshat!” He walked over to the bed where Clint lay in, and sat down on the chair beside it. His younger brother was apparently in a great deal of pain, he moaned and writhed on the bed. And the fact, that he was in heat didn’t make it easier for him. 

“Can we… can we go home?” Clint asked, his voice barely audible. 

“I don’t know. They say you have a concussion and a clavicle fracture. And there’s still the problem with your heat,” Barney said. 

“I… I can do that,” Clint said, and tried to rise from his bed. But as soon as he tried it he groaned in pain, and broke out into perspiration. Barney sighed, and touched his arm, and Clint began to sweat even more. 

“No,” Barney said, and shook his head. “No, you can’t.” 

“What, no… no, I can… I can… you just… just… help me…” Clint moaned, and tried to rise again, but he fell back only a second later, covered in sweat and cringing on the mattress. He shivered, and Barney saw he needed an alpha, _his_ alpha. 

“Clint,” he sighed. “I know, you will hate what I say next, but…” 

“No!” Clint said. He tried to sound threatening, but it sounded more like a weak kitten. 

“Not what you think! I…” Barney stopped, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You need physical contact to _him_. I won’t let him do anything to you, but I want him to get in, and sit here, maybe touch your arm.” Clint tried to rise and protest, but Barney put his hand on Clint’s shoulder and pressed him back onto the bed. 

“You… you can’t… can’t… let him in,” Clint panted, and tried to get away. 

“Clint,” Barney snapped, and used his alpha-voice. Clint stopped immediately. “I won’t let him harm you, but you need his pheromones to calm you down. I wouldn’t suggest it if there was another solution, but as much as I hate it to say, you need him.” 

“But you stay here?” Clint asked, and Barney nodded. 

“Of course. Do you really think I’ll let him alone with you? Not after what he’d done to you.” Barney looked at Clint, and when his younger brother nodded, he rose and went to the door. Only one of them - Falcon - was still outside, and he rose from the chair immediately, when he saw him, Barney. 

“Is he okay?” He asked, and Barney nodded. 

“Clint agreed to let _this man_ come inside,” he said, and Falcon’s eyes widened. But he nodded. 

“I’ll get him… and Steve,” he said, and walked away. Barney went back to Clint, and sat down again. 

“I’ll stay with you, Clint. I will not leave you alone. Okay?” He said, and Clint nodded. When they heard a knock at the door, Clint flinched, but Barney put his hand on his shoulder again. 

“Come in,” he called, and the door went open. The first man, who entered the room, was Captain Rogers, and right behind him he could see the other one, Barnes. Barney rose, and stopped the two men before they were too close. 

“I’ve never introduced myself properly, Mr. Barnes. My name is Charles Bernard Barton, but in my line of business, people called me Trickshot. Let me clear up one point, Mr. Barnes. You are here because Clint needs you. For now. But if you hurt him again, if you do something he doesn’t want…” He stopped for a moment, smiled, and cocked his head. “Then you will learn, _why_ they called me Trickshot. Am I clear?” 

Barnes nodded briskly, one time. 

“Clear as daylight,” he said, and Barney stepped aside and let him in.


	6. Chapter 6

After a pretty nightmarish week Clint released himself. He had to have Barnes in his room more than once, needed his touch and he hated himself for it but the doctor said, it was inevitable. And if he was honest with himself, he actually _needed_ the touch. He never let him do more than touch his arm, his shoulder, sometimes his leg but even if his body screamed for more, even if he almost melted in his bed, he never let Barnes do more. And Barney made sure that Barnes kept his fingers to himself aside from the touches Clint allowed after the last incident. Barnes had tried to pull him into a hug and Clint scrambled out of the bed in panic and sprained his ankle.

And now, as soon as the heat subsided he told Barney that he would leave with him. His brother just looked at him for a very long moment, his brow raised, but in the end he nodded. Clint had sent him to his rooms to get a few of his things he had to leave behind the last time he _fled_. He especially needed the phone he had with him when he had the accident Fortunately it was still functional, he had checked it.

FRIDAY tried to convince him to stay, but Clint shook his head. 

“No,” he said. “I… I can’t… not as long as he is here,” he added quietly. The AI seemed to deliberate what to do but then she let them go without noticing Tony or Steve. Or Barnes. 

Barney had checked his car, his phone and Clint’s stuff for hidden trackers and he had removed three devices. They left them on the nightstand in Clint’s infirmary room before Clint hobbled to the elevator on crutches with Barney’s help. 

“You still think it’s a good idea?” Barney asked as soon as he sat in the passenger’s seat and looked back at the building in front of them. 

“Jep,” Clint said, and buckled in. “I’ll stay in bed for a few days and then…” 

“Clint, you…” Barney said, stopped, looked at him for a long moment before he eventually nodded. “Let’s get you home. The kids miss you.” 

When Barney started the engine and backed out of the parking space, Clint saw a face on one of the windows. Natasha looked at him, smiled and nodded. She wouldn’t tell the others. Clint leaned back and closed his eyes while Barney drove them _home_. He almost snorted. Not long ago he called the HQ his home and now? Now he had no idea where home was anymore.

***

“Oh my god, Clint!” Laura burst out as soon as she saw him.

“Hi, Laura,” he grinned sheepish, and scratched the back of his neck. She stormed over to him, as fast as possible with her growing belly, threw her arms around him to hug him and then moved back an inch or two and slapped his chest. Clint winced and made a grimace because his ribs still hurt. 

“Sorry,” she said, and hugged him again. But then she let go of him, glared at him and pushed her hands in her hips. “What the futz were you thinking? Driving away with your bike in your condition? You could’ve killed yourself!” She snapped. 

“I… I’m sorry,” Clint said, and looked at the ground. He felt like a little boy again, getting reprimanded by the nuns in the orphanage. 

“Clint,” Laura sighed. And once more she hugged him, before she led him into the living room. He saw Cooper and Lila sitting at the table, doing their homework. They looked up at him when he entered, smiled, but one glance from Laura made them turn back to their work. 

“Come on, sit down,” Laura said and shoved him over to the couch. Clint obeyed and sat down and Barney came in with a steaming hot cup of coffee. He pressed it in Clint’s hand together with two pills. 

“You have to take them, Dr. Banner had said,” he told him. Clint raised a brow but Barney sat down beside him. “I may not trust them in keeping Barnes away from you but at least I think they know what they do. And Banner seems like a good guy,” he shrugged. 

“You know I don’t like painkillers,” Clint muttered. “They make me dizzy.” 

“You’re safe here. Aside from Natasha no one knows where this farm is and you trust Nat not to tell them,” Laura threw in, and sat down, too. 

Clint sighed, but he took the pills, swallowed them and washed them down with coffee. He emptied the mug, put it on the coffee table and leaned back on the couch. Laura handed him a blanket and Clint put it over his knees. It didn’t take long and he drifted asleep. And apparently he slept the whole night, curled up on the couch because he woke when he smelled coffee and bacon. When he opened his eyes he saw Lila right in front of him. She held her hands behind her back, and swayed to and fro. 

“Hey, Uncle Clint,” she whispered when she realized he was awake. “Mom said breakfast is ready.” 

“Thanks, munchkin,” Clint said, and sat up. His head spun and he shivered slightly.

“Do you feel well?” The girl asked. Clint sighed, shook his head for a moment but then he nodded. 

“Yes, I’m okay,” he lied, but Lila stayed where she was. 

“You don’t look well,” she stated, and Clint huffed a tiny laugh. 

“I know, hun,” he leaned forward and ruffled her hair. “Tell your mom I’m on my way.” 

Lila nodded, turned around and ran to the kitchen, loudly announcing that he would come. 

Clint reached for his crutches and hobbled into the kitchen, still wearing the same clothes he had worn the day before. As soon as Laura saw him, she put a mug onto the table and filled it with coffee, smiling in his direction. She knew him pretty well and he needed his fix to wake up, especially after taking painkillers. 

“Thanks,” he smiled, sat down and emptied the mug in one big gulp. Laura refilled the mug and sat down opposite of him. 

“So,” she said when the children left after a few minutes to go to school. “What are you up to now?” 

“Huh?” Clint asked, and Laura raised her brow. She put her mug down, and folded her hands in front of herself.

“I know you, Clint. You’re planning something and I’m not sure it’s good for you. So….” 

Clint looked down at his hands for a moment, but then he shook his head. “I don’t…” he started, but a raised finger from Laura stopped him. “I want to get well and then… I don’t know,” he said then. 

“Clint,” Laura put a hand over Clint’s. “Don’t do anything stupid, do you hear me? We’re figuring something out, but… just don’t do anything stupid.” 

Clint swallowed, and looked at her. “I won’t,” he said then. 

Laura scrutinized him but just the moment she opened her mouth to say something, Barney came in. He looked at the two of them, from Laura to Clint and back to Laura. 

“Is everything okay?” He asked. 

“Yes,” Clint said with a smile. He emptied his second mug of coffee, reached for the crutches and rose. “I need a shower.” 

“Clint…” Laura said again, but he pretended he didn’t hear it and hobbled away.

***

“Hey,” Clint called, when Laura walked to the door. “Where are you going?” He looked over the backrest of the couch and saw her standing in the door with a basket in her hand.

“I have to go grocery shopping,” she said with a sigh. “Do you need anything?” He was back for a week now and spent most of the time sitting at the couch, eating junk food.

“No, but… can I come?” He asked, and Laura pursed her lips. 

“I thought you said you don’t need anything.”

“No, I… I want to go to the pharmacy, I need more painkillers,” he said and pointed at the empty bottle on the table. Laura took a deep breath, but then she nodded. 

“Okay,” she finally agreed.

“I… can I get my jeans?” He pointed at the stairs. 

“Sure,” Laura said, went to the table and sat down. “But… chop-chop.” 

“Aye, aye,” Clint saluted grinning, reached for his crutches and hobbled away. As soon as he was in his room, he grabbed the phone, dialed the number he had memorized long ago and waited. 

“Can you meet me behind the pharmacy in an hour?” He asked as soon as his contact took the call. He had talked to him a few days ago and he had promised that he would come to Iowa to meet him, for a _tiny_ fee of course. 

“Certainly, Mr. Smith,” the man answered and quit the call. Clint went to the dresser, pulled out one of the drawers, turned it around and took the envelope taped to it. He knew it was cliché, but it worked. The money was still in it and he took it, shoved it into the pocket of his jeans before he put it on. 

“Clint!” Laura called from downstairs. 

“On my way,” he called back, grabbed the crutches and left his room. Laura already waited in the pick-up, impatiently drumming on the steering wheel. He climbed onto the passenger’s seat, and smiled apologetically. “Sorry,” he said and pointed at the crutches. “The stairs aren’t easy with them.” 

“It’s okay, Clint. It’s just… I have to fetch the children and…” She sighed.

“Sorry,” Clint said. “Just… drive?” he gestured at the road that led away from the house and Laura nodded, started the engine and hit the road. 

About fifty minutes later she dropped him off at the pharmacy. “I’ll be back in an hour,” she said. Clint nodded and pointed at the diner down the street. 

“I’ll wait there,” he said. Laura nodded and pulled away. Clint had ten minutes and he hobbled into the pharmacy, got his painkiller refill and bought calcium pills and ointment. 

When he had his stuff, he left the building, looked around, saw that Laura was definitely gone and walked into the small back alley beside the pharmacy. The man he awaited wasn’t here yet. He went to the dumpster, opened the bottle with painkillers and threw them away. 

“What a pity, Mr. Smith,” a voice behind him said. Clint closed the dumpster and turned around. 

“I don’t need them,” he said. He looked at the empty bottle in his hand. 

“You could’ve sold them,” the man smiled, and pushed his glasses up his nose. “People pay for painkillers available only by prescription.” 

“I’m not a drug dealer,” Clint sighed. “Do you have them?” 

“Do you have my money?” The man asked and came closer. 

“Sure. Thousand for the pills and the two hundred for delivery,” Clint said, took the wad of cash out of his pocket and gave it to the man. He counted it, nodded, smiled and gave Clint a small bag with pills. 

“It was nice doing business with you,” the man said, put the money into his jacket pocket and walked away. Clint opened the bag, filled the pills into the empty bottle and threw the bag away. He looked at the bottle and a small smile appeared on his lips. No one would know that this were illegal suppressants. And now he would never have to see Barnes ever again.


	7. Chapter 7

Laura stood at the window and looked out to the barn. The doors were wide open and Clint lay beneath the tractor and tried to repair it. He wore only his pants and was covered in grease. She took a sip from her mug - her favorite self made herb tea with a bit of honey - and sighed. 

“Don’t you think he… I don’t know… needs to do something?” She asked. Barney, who sat behind her at the table and fiddled with the broken coffee maker, looked up and furrowed his brows. Barney and Clint had made a deal. Clint would repair the tractor if Barney got his beloved coffee maker to work again. 

“What do you mean? He’s doing something right now,” he said and nodded with his chin over to the barn. 

Laura sighed, and looked over her shoulder. “You know what I mean. He’s not a farmer, he’s… he should… _do_ something. Not this, though,” she said. 

Barney rose, wiped his hands at his pants, much to the chagrin of Laura, and came over to her. 

“Give him time,” he said. “He’ll go back to SHIELD if he wants to. And if he wants to stay forever, well, we can fit out the attic for him.” 

“I’m worrying about him, Barney,” she said and took another sip of her tea. “He’s so…” 

“I know, but… give him time,” Barney said. 

“It’s three months since we brought him back. You know what that means,” she looked at her husband. Barney’s glance went to Clint, to his wife and back to his brother. 

“He should go into heat very soon,” he stated and Laura nodded. 

“Do you think…” She started, stopped, bit her lips and looked at her husband for a second. But when Barney’s expression darkened, she put a hand on his arm. “Only if he needs him.” 

“I don’t want this man in my house,” he snapped and his voice was all Alpha from one moment to the next.

“But what… what if it gets just as bad as last time?” She emptied her mug and put it onto the table. Barney frowned at her, but then he looked out of the window and pursed his lips. 

“Only - and this is a big ass only in capital letters - if it gets so bad,” he said. He took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I wish… I wish I could do something,” he added then. 

“It’s not your fault an Omega can bond only once in their life,” Laura said. She went to him and instinctively Barney wrapped his arms protectively around her and kissed her forehead. 

“I know that, honey, but… he’s my little brother. It’s my job to protect him. I always protected him, when our dad was drunk and angry, when we were in the orphanage and later in the circus and now… now I have no idea what I can do. He’s tied to a man who raped him and bonded him against his will,” he said. Laura stroked his cheek. 

“I know. We’re here for him as long as he needs us,” she said. “But he’s Hawkeye, an Avenger. He’s not a farmer, Barney, and…” Laura stopped for a moment. “This life will eat him up.” 

“I can’t just throw him out and tell him to go back to the Avengers,” Barney snapped. 

“No, but… SHIELD sure has other resources, has other teams where they need him. After all he told us, I think they need every single agent to rebuild themselves,” she shrugged. Barney looked at her for a very long moment, but then he nodded.

“You’re right. I’ll talk to him,” he said. “But only after our tractor is repaired,” he added then with a smirk.

***

“Uncle Clint, are you okay?” Cooper asked, when Clint crawled out from under the tractor. He was sweating uncontrollable and it wasn’t entirely because it was August and hot like hell. No, he knew that his heat was coming up and apparently it would start soon. It felt different, though, but it was probably still because of the induced heat.

“Yeah, it’s just hot,” he lied when he saw the concerned glances, reached for the rag he had on his tool box and wiped away the sweat. “Will you get me some water, please?” He asked and Cooper nodded, grinned and darted off to the house to get him his drink. Clint looked around but no one was here. Lila was on a ride with her horse and Barney and Laura were in the house. He opened the tool box, removed the false bottom in one of the compartments and took out one of the pills he had hidden there, just to be sure no one would find it. He held it in his hand but he didn’t have to wait long, Cooper was already on his way back, a bottle of water in his hand. 

“Thanks, buddy,” he said as soon Copper had given it to him, and he ruffled the boy’s hair. He swallowed the pill and washed it down with the water. But before he could turn back to the tractor, Barney called from the house. 

“Clint!” He waved his hand for him to come over. Clint took a deep breath, but then he waved back.

“Don’t touch anything,” he said to the boy. Cooper, who had just looked into the tool box, shrank back startled. “I don’t want you to hurt yourself,” he added, when he saw his glance. 

“I won’t,” Cooper said. Clint nodded, and the boy went to his dog, a fat, brown labrador, who sat in the shadow and panted. He reached for a ball, tried to animate him to play, but it was too hot for the dog, too. Clint smiled, grabbed his shirt and jogged over to the house, where Barney waved worked up. 

“Come on, come on, Laura goes into labor,” he said as soon as he was within earshot. “I need to drive her to the hospital and you have to stay with the kids.” 

“What?” Clint blurted, but then he nodded. “Sure, I’m here.” 

Barney hurried back into the house and only a minute later he came back with Laura by his side. The bag he held in his hand was packed for two weeks now, and he threw it onto the truck bed. But before he could help Laura into the passenger’s seat, she turned her head and looked at him. 

“Clint,” she said, “if you… need help,” the way she looked at him spoke louder than words, “call Mrs. Camden. She sometime babysits when you're not here. Her number is on the fridge.” 

Clint nodded slowly. “Yeah… uhm… okay,” he said. 

“Do you have what you need?” She asked and Clint frowned. 

“It’s not my first heat,” he smiled. “Go to the hospital, I have everything under control,” he said. 

“Thanks,” she said, and doubled up when a contraction hit her. 

“Okay,” Clint said and slammed the door shut while Barney hurried around the car to get into the driver’s seat. “Don’t worry, everything will be fine. You concentrate on get me another nephew and you,” he pointed at his brother, “drive careful!” 

“Will do that,” Barney grinned, and Clint waved when they drove off. 

“The time has come?” Cooper asked, when he went back to the barn. He had given up on trying to animate the dog to play, and sat on a log to watch Clint. 

“Yeah,” he said. “It’s about time. No offense, but your mom looked as if she would burst every moment.” 

Cooper chuckled. “That’s true, I didn’t dare to hug her anymore.” 

Clint crawled back under the tractor. “Come on, let’s get this old girl back to work. Can you give me the monkey wrench?”

***

Tony stood in the kitchen, poured himself his third cup of coffee and glared through the door into the living room, where Barnes still paced. He looked at his phone every now and then and his face darkened constantly.

He startled a tiny bit when the other door, the one that led to the elevators, went open and Steve came in. The super soldier, looked at Tony, turned to see what he looked at and frowned. 

“It seems your bestie is cracked,” Tony said and nodded at Barnes in the living room, punching a cushion whenever he passed the couch. 

“What’s wrong?” Steve asked. He’s been away for the last weekend. He, Natasha and Sam were on a mission, and they left Barnes here with the rest of the Avengers. 

“I don’t know. Suddenly his mood switched from Barnes-y to this,” he said and gestured at the pacing man in the living room. 

“Barnes-y?” The crease between Steve’s eyes deepened. 

“Yeah, you know, dark, brooding, uncommunicative,” he sighed. “What’s wrong with him? He gone bonkers?” 

Steve opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again and then, when his eyes fell onto the calendar, it hit him. “Oh my…” he mumbled.

“What? What’s wrong?” Tony asked, looking around confused. 

“Look at the calendar,” Steve said. Tony turned, frowned, and then he got it, too. 

“Oh my,” he said. It was three months since Barton left and he should go into heat at the moment. And _his_ Alpha was here and not with him. No wonder Barnes was so stirred up. 

“You want to talk to him?” Tony wanted to know. After all, he didn’t want to renovate their _home_ yet again. 

“Yeah,” Steve nodded. But he didn’t move. “Did you hear from Clint?” He asked instead. 

“No,” Tony shook his head. “Nothing. And I also tried to find something about his brother but it is as if he doesn’t exist. No one knows anything. Okay, well, maybe Natasha knows but she still refuses to talk about them,” he sighed. 

“She’s a good friend,” Steve said lamely and Tony’s brows hit his hairline. 

“She’s hiding Clint from us and we don’t know if he needs help,” he snapped. 

“Tony, Clint was alone during most of his heats and I’m pretty sure he knows how to cope,” Steve shrugged. “And I’m pretty sure he would’ve called if he needed him.” 

“Yeah,” Tony admitted. “Go, talk to Buckaroo before he destroys the entire living room.” He said then and nodded at Barnes, who had just glared at his phone again.

“Right,” Steve nodded, unfolded his arms and went to the living room. 

Bucky just glared at his phone for the umpteenth time. 

“Hey,” Steve greeted him and with a Russian curse on his lips he looked up. 

“He doesn’t call,” Bucky said. He looked angry but Steve knew him, he saw the worry and the concern, too. 

“Then it means he’s alright,” Steve said. Bucky furrowed his brows and his expression darkened. 

“He shouldn’t be away, he’s…” he started but stopped himself immediately. “I’m sorry.” He took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“What if he needs me? What if he’s in pain? What…” His eyes were wide and he bit his lower lip. Steve went over to him, and put a hand on his arm. 

“He’s okay, Buck,” he repeated. “No need to worry.” 

“Yeah? It’s easy for you to talk! Your omega is here with you and…” He blushed. “You didn’t do what I have done,” he added barely audible. 

“Bucky,” Steve said. “You need to calm down. He’ll call if he needs you, okay? And him not calling means he’s okay.” 

“What if he _can’t_ call me? What if he’s in danger, in pain… or worse?” His breath sped up and he ran his hands through his hair, pulling at the strands. 

“Buck, come on. Calm down. You need to calm down,” Steve reached for his hands and held them. Bucky tried to pull them back but then he stopped, licked his lips and nodded. 

“Yeah, maybe you’re right.” When Steve let go of his hands Bucky wrapped them around himself. 

“So, what about you? Are you alright? You should…” Steve stopped and blushed. 

“I… I’m okay… I _took care_ of it…” Bucky said. 

“Okay,” Steve said. He was still beet red. “I’ll ask Natasha. She knows how to get in touch with Clint and she can ask if he’s okay.” 

“Thanks, Stevie,” Bucky said and eventually a small smile appeared on his face. “Really, thanks.”


	8. Chapter 8

“Uncle Clint?” Cooper asked later, when the tractor was repaired and they had had their test drive with it. He even had let him drive it for a few moments and Cooper had promised not to tell his parents, but he was happy and smiled the whole afternoon. 

“What is it?” Clint asked, and looked up from the pot he just stirred in. 

“Why did mom say you should call Mrs. Camden?” he asked and leaned against the fridge. Mrs. Camden was the nearest neighbor - still an hour’s drive away - and she babysat the children, when Laura was in heat. 

“It was just a precaution, Coop,” Clint lied and he felt really bad about it. He shouldn’t have to lie to the boy but he couldn’t tell him the truth either. 

“Are you… you know…” Coop bit his lip and blushed violently. Clint turned around and looked at the boy for a long moment.

“No, I’m okay,” he lied again. He hated it to lie to them. “Go, get your sister. Dinner is ready.” Cooper nodded and went to get Lila. Clint sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose. The pills did their job, the upcoming heat he had felt just this morning, was subdued and he felt fine. Well, mostly. He never had told Laura or Barney that he often was nauseous in the mornings, probably a side effect of the induced heat. 

Clint brought the pot with the spaghetti sauce to the table, drained the pasta and brought it, too, while Cooper and Lila set the table. Cooper was quiet during their meal but Lila talked about everything that came to her mind. She told them about the ducklings she saw at the pond during her ride, she was happy that her new sibling was on their way now, she talked about her plans for tomorrow and Clint answered every now and then. 

When they finished and Lila darted off to feed her horse Cooper stayed back again and pursed his lips. 

“What’s wrong?” Clint asked but the boy was quiet for a long moment. 

“You don’t look well, Uncle Clint,” he finally said. Clint, who had just started to wash the dishes, turned around, took the dishtowel and dried his hands. 

“I know,” he finally admitted. “And…” he looked out the window for a moment. “When your mom and your dad are back, I promise, I go to a doctor, okay?” He lied again. 

“Okay,” Cooper nodded. He just wanted to turn and leave the kitchen when Clint held him back. 

“Just… don’t tell them now. They… I don’t want them to worry about me, okay. They’re just getting their third child and they don’t need to worry about me, too.” 

“You promise, Uncle Clint?” Cooper asked and Clint drew a cross over his heart and smiled. 

“Promised,” he said. And he hated himself once again. 

Cooper nodded and left the house, went to Lila to help her. Clint took a deep breath, went to the window and looked out to the stable, where he could see the two children. Laura and Barney had said, they could have their own horses if they would feed them every day and they had promised to do that. And so far the two kept their promises. 

Clint felt bad for lying to the boy. He knew he couldn’t go to a doctor. They would immediately find out that he took illegal suppressants. And right now… he couldn’t risk getting in another heat. The induced heat had messed up with his hormones and he got full heats even without hi… an Alpha nearby to trigger them. 

With a sigh he went back to wash the dishes, cleaned the kitchen and went to the living room, where he flopped on the couch and turned on the TV. His stomach growled and he felt a little queasy. Maybe he had eaten too much. He zapped through the channels when he heard the children enter the house. 

“Uncle Clint! Uncle Clint!” Lila called and jumped onto the couch beside him. “Can we watch the Simpsons?” She asked.

“Did you feed the horses?” He asked, and the girl nodded.

“Sure, and the chickens and the ducks, too,” she said and grinned. Clint had fed the other animals before he went in to cook dinner. 

“Cool,” Clint smiled, took the remote and switched to the Simpsons. Cooper went to the armchair, but Lila snuggled at Clint’s side and after a moment he put his arm around her. They were half through the episode, when the phone rang. Clint rose and answered the call. 

It was Barney. “Clint! It’s a son! We have a son,” he told him happily. “We called him Nathaniel.” 

“Really? Congratulations! Wow, I… wow!” Clint grinned. “Hey, kids!” He turned to Lila and Cooper. “You have a little brother, Nathaniel.” 

Both children cheered and grinned, too. “When can we see him?” Lila wanted to know.

“Listen, man,” Barney continued. “It wasn’t as easy as we thought. Laura had to get a c-section and the baby didn’t breath for a few minutes.” 

“Oh my god, are they okay?” Clint asked now.

“Yeah, as good as can be expected under the circumstances. We have to stay here a little longer, just to be sure everything is okay. Can you take care of the kids?” 

“Of course, Barney. That’s not a problem,” he said. “You take care of Laura and Nathan and we’ll manage all right.” 

“Thanks, Clint,” Barney said and he sounded relieved. “And you know, if you… uhm… you know… call Mrs. Camden.” 

“Will do that,” Clint said. When he put the receiver down, he pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. 

“Uncle Clint?” Lila stood in front of him and looked at him. 

“Yes, honey. You mom has to stay in the hospital for a few days,” he told her. And when her eyes went wide he hunkered down beside her. “It’s nothing bad, they just want to check your mom and your little brother are okay, honey.” 

“What’s his name?” She asked after a moment. Clint smiled.

“Nathaniel,” he said again. “And in a few days we can visit them.” 

“Cool!” Lila grinned. Clint rose and took her hand. 

“So, and now it’s time to go to bed. It’s late.”

***

“Hey, Phil,” Natasha smiled, when she entered the small diner and saw him sitting at a table. Phil smiled as well, rose, and wanted to shake her hand but Natasha just pulled him in a hug. He was a little stiff the first seconds, but then he patted her back.

“Hello, Natasha,” he said warmly. “Long time, no see.” He smiled and gestured at the seat opposite of the one he had just used. 

“That’s not my fault,” Natasha said, her brow raised. But she sat down and when the waitress came she ordered tea before she looked at the menu. 

“I know, but you know, it wasn’t my idea. So, how are you doing?” 

The waitress was back, brought the tea and Natasha ordered waffles with strawberries. “How am I doing?” she asked, when the woman was gone. “We thought you were dead, Phil.” 

“I… was. I was dead for a few minutes, but they brought me back. It… it wasn’t easy,” he said and looked into his cup for a few seconds. 

“Project TAHITI?” Natasha asked and Phil’s brow hit his hairline.

“You know about it?” 

Natasha smiled. “We have a genius and we’re not afraid to use it,” she said. She stirred a spoonful of sugar in her tea, removed the tea bag and took a sip. 

“Tony,” Phil nodded as if that was the explanation to everything. 

“So, how you doing?” She asked again. Phil opened his mouth, but then the waitress brought their food and he waited till she was gone. He had ordered pancakes and he poured syrup over them before he took his first bite. 

“It wasn’t easy. But now… I’m okay. I have a new team, but I guess you know that,” he said. Natasha nodded. 

“Yes, Tony dug out lots of stuff. About your missions, about… Skye,” she admitted. Phil sighed. 

“It’s complicated, you know,” he said. Natasha nodded again.

“I know. I just thought you should know,” she said. 

“What about you? How are you? How’s Clint? How’s the rest of the team doing?” Phil wanted to know. Natasha swallowed her bite, washed it down with a sip of tea and leaned back. 

“We made a terrible mistake, Phil, and Clint…” She looked out of the window for a second. 

“What happened?” Phil asked, his brows furrowed. He and Clint were more than just handler and asset, Natasha knew that. They weren’t lovers, but they were really close friends. And Natasha knew, that sometimes Phil had _helped_ Clint when it was necessary. 

She leaned back, took another sip of her tea before she started to tell Phil everything from the moment they had brought Bucky Barnes to the tower. 

“Fuck!” Phil seldom swore, but when he did, he was really upset. 

“How… why… I mean, why did no one stop Barnes?” he asked after a few moments and more colorful swearwords. 

“We tried, but when we came in, it was over already,” Natasha admitted. “I know, we fucked it up, we should’ve stayed close, but…” 

“Where’s he now?” Phil wanted to know. 

“Barney came and fetched him. They’re at the farm,” she told him. 

“Did you talk to him?” Phil put his cutlery on his empty plate and shoved to the edge of the table so the waitress could take it away. 

“No,” she shook her head. “I’ve called him a few times but… he rejected them.” Natasha put her plate on Phil’s and wiped her mouth with a napkin. “You know him.” 

Phil pinched the bridge of his nose and nodded. “Unfortunately,” he said. He looked out of the window for a long moment. 

“I have an idea,” he said when he turned back. “Can you give me his number?” 

Natasha nodded and when Phil handed her his phone, she saved Clint’s number. “You gonna tell me?” She asked then. 

“Not now,” Phil shook his head. “I want to talk to him first.” 

“Okay,” Natasha smiled. “Maybe you can help him.” 

“We’ll see. So, how about you? You didn’t tell me about you, Tasha,” Phil said now and gestured for the waitress to bring more coffee. 

“How much time do you have?” She smiled. And Phil chuckled. 

“I have a day off,” he said, leaned back… and then she started to talk.

***

Clint put the receiver back on the phone. He turned around and saw Lila and Cooper behind him, both looking at him expectantly.

“It was your dad,” he said. Lila licked her lips nervously. “They are coming home tomorrow.” 

Both children burst out in happy screams and they hugged Clint as if he’d told them Christmas came twice this year. 

“That means, we have to clean up the house or your mom will kill us,” he grinned. Lila and Cooper darted off and started collecting their stuff, that was littered all over the living room and the dining room. 

Clint went to the kitchen and just wanted to wash the dishes, when someone knocked at the door. “I’ll go!” called Cooper. Clint, who had just collected all the empty plates followed him to the living room. But as soon as he turned around the corner and when he saw their visitor, he paled and dropped the plates. They shattered on the ground, food and cutlery rolled around the carpet and Clint had to grab the doorjamb to keep himself upright. 

In Barney’s living room stood no one other than… “Phil!”


	9. Chapter 9

They sat in Barney’s and Laura’s kitchen, both had a cup of coffee in their hands and looked at each other, quietly. 

“So,” Clint said after a while. “Do you start or…” he gestured with his finger between the two of them. 

“I _was_ dead, Clint,” Phil said. “They brought me back.” 

“Project TAHITI?” Clint nodded and Phil raised a brow. 

“Does everyone know about it?” He asked. Clint snorted. 

“Tony’s a genius, a very curious one, remember?” 

“Yes, I remember,” Phil said, a small smile around his lips. 

“What are you doing here, Phil?” Clint asked. 

“I’m here to offer you a job,” Phil said. “I have a new team, Clint. We’re operating independent and report only to Fury. And I want you in my team.” 

“Did Natasha call you?” Clint squinted his eyes, sat back and folded his arms over his chest.

“I won’t lie to you, Clint,” Phil nodded slowly. “She did, but that’s not the reason I’m here. Or maybe it was,” he stopped for a moment, licked his lips and looked away. “I really want you on my team. But I thought you’re with the Avengers. I had no idea what happened and now…” he gestured around, “This is my chance to get you.” 

“So, this is not only out of pity?” Clint wanted to know. And now it was Phil who snorted.

“How long do you know me, Barton,” he said. “We were a good team, you, Nat and me,” Phil smiled. “I can’t get Nat, she stays with the Avengers, but you… I can get you and I really want you.” 

“Who else is in the team?” Clint asked.

“Melinda May, Grant Ward, a few scientists,” Phil said. 

“Scientists?” Clint raised a brow. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, seriously. They’re good and they know their job,” Phil said. He took a sip of his coffee and sighed contently. “I missed your coffee.” 

Clint chuckled slightly. “You’ve always been the only one who liked it the way I make it.” 

“It’s strong,” Phil said. “Not this watery sludge they call coffee at HQ.” 

“So, you want me in your team to get my coffee every day?” Clint grinned. 

“Oh, it’s definitely one of the reasons,” Phil deadpanned. “No, seriously. You’re one of the best agents Shield has and you’d be a great addition to my team. And,” Phil looked around in the farmhouse, “this may be your family but we all know this life is not for you.” 

Clint took a deep breath and stirred in his mug. “I know,” he whispered after a long moment. “I know.” 

Phil sat there and waited for a long while but when Clint rose and went to look out of the window, he turned to him. “We have the bus,” he said. 

“You have…” Clint whirled around and stared at him. He always loved to fly big things and the bus was amazing. 

Phil chuckled. “You’ll have to fight Melinda for it, she’ll be our pilot.” 

“Aww, Phil… I don’t want to fight Melinda, she’ll kick my ass,” Clint said and maybe, just maybe, it sounded a tiny bit like a whine. 

“Quite possible. But maybe we can talk to her and she’ll let you fly every now and then.” 

Clint’s face lit up. “Awesome,” he grinned. “So, when can we start?” 

Phil huffed a small laugh and looked around. “As it seems, you still have a task here,” he said and pointed at some of the children’s toys, lying in the living room. 

“Right,” Clint nodded. “But Barney and Laura are coming soon, and…” 

“Next week, Clint,” Phil said. “Then you have enough time to talk to them, to… to arrange your affairs and…” he stopped, “and to talk to Fury.” 

“Why do I need to talk to Fury?” 

“As far as I remember he’s still the director of SHIELD,” Phil said with a smirk. “He needs to officially assign you to my team.” 

“Okay,” he agreed. “As soon as Barney and Laura are back I go to see him.” 

Phil nodded. “Good,” he said, emptied his mug and rose. “It’s good to have you back in my team,” he smiled. 

“Yeah, it’s good to get something to do again. Went a little stir-crazy lately.” 

“I hope you’ve practiced your aim, Barton. You’re our sniper.” Phil went to the door. Clint snorted.

“I’m the best shot SHIELD has, even blindfolded and with an arm tied to my back,” he deadpanned. “See you in a few, then.” 

Phil shook his head with a grin and went to the car he had parked outside, climbed behind the wheel and started the engine. And while he drove backwards back to the road, Cooper came to him.

“Are you leaving us, Uncle Clint?” He asked. Clint put his arm around the boy’s shoulder. 

“Yes,” he said. “I have to go back to work as soon as your parents are back.” 

“Too bad,” Cooper said. “I liked to have you here.” 

“I’ll come back soon, promise,” Clint said. And he meant it. He would visit them as soon as possible.

***

A week later Clint was in SHIELD’s new secret HQ in New York, talking to Fury. For the public he was still considered dead but a few people knew that he was not only alive but still held the reins tightly.

Fury just had told him that he was reassigned from the Avengers to Coulson’s team and he now had to get the okay from medical. He just left his office when he bumped in someone. 

“Sorry, I…” he smiled and looked up to realize he stood in front of Steve Rogers.

“Nothing… oh, hello, Clint,” the super-soldier said. He shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other. “How are you?” 

“Fine,” Clint nodded. He forced a smile on his lips. “How about you? And the team?” 

“We’re okay,” Steve said. He looked at his feet for a moment before he turned his head back to Clint. “I…” He started again, but Clint stepped aside, tried to move around him. 

“I have to go, Steve,” he interrupted him. 

“Wait, Clint,” Steve stopped him. He reached out for his arm, but didn’t dare to touch him. “Are you… do you…” He took a deep breath. “Are you coming back? To the team, I mean” He eventually asked. And somehow he sounded hopeful. 

“No, sorry,” Clint told him. “I just…” He pursed his lips. “I’m here to see medical,” he lied then.

Steve’s eyes went wide. “Is everything okay?” 

“It’s just a follow-up check,” he said and pointed at his clavicle. “Just to be sure everything is okay.” 

“Oh, okay,” Steve nodded and deflated slightly. “I just thought…” 

“Fury wanted to see me,” Clint said and Steve nodded again. He pointedly looked at the wristwatch he wore. “And now I have my appointment.” 

“Sorry, I didn’t want to hold you up. Just… if you need something…” he didn’t finish his sentence when Clint gave him a dirty look. 

“I’ll let you know,” Clint said after a moment. He passed Steve and hurried away, just to stop after a few moments to lean against the wall and to take a deep breath. He wasn’t prepared to see one of the team. Fury could’ve told them that Steve - or probably more of them - were here. 

He went to the corner of the corridor, looked around before he hurried it along to the next one. He really didn't want to see them. 

It took him a few more minutes but he made it to medical without bumping into Tony and Bruce, who walked along one of the corridors. When he closed the door behind himself and leaned against it, the doctor looked at him puzzled but she didn’t comment his weird behavior. She worked for SHIELD for too long to ask questions anymore. 

“Mr. Barton,” she said instead and gestured with her hand for him to follow her into one of the two examination rooms. 

“Hey, doc,” he said and forced one of his patented ‘I’m healthy, give me my okay’-grins onto his face. But Dr. Murray just raised her brow and pointed at the examination table. 

“Sit down, please, and let me do my job,” she said before he could even complain that everything was okay with him and that he just needed her signature. So he just sighed and sat down as ordered. 

Half an hour later Dr. Murray released him. She told him that he was okay so far and that she just needed the results from his bloodwork to give him the final okay. She would get it the next day and she would call him. Clint thanked her and left the office carefully, but no one was outside. He sneaked through the corridors again and out of the building. When he went to his bike he thought he heard someone call his name but he just ducked his head, put on his helmet and drove away. He didn’t want to have to deal with the other Avengers right now. Or ever again.

***

“Bucky!”

Bucky stood in front of the paper factory, that was the disguise for SHIELD’s new HQ. He stared over the parked cars at a black and purple Ducati driving away. He was outside for a smoke when he saw a man coming out of the building and walking away from him. For a moment he’d thought it was Clint, but the driver didn’t listen when he called him. 

“Bucky,” Steve said again and came over to him. He finally turned to look at him. 

“I thought… I thought I’ve seen Clint,” he said lamely and nodded in the direction the bike vanished moments ago. “But apparently…” 

“He was here,” Steve said. Bucky’s head snapped around. So he wasn’t wrong, he _had_ smelled _his_ omega’s scent. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Bucky asked, sounding a little hurt. He just wanted to talk to Clint, wanted to know if he was okay, if he needed something. 

Steve took a deep breath. “Fury reassigned him,” he said then. 

“What?” 

“He’s not coming back to the Avengers,” Steve said. “Fury assigned him to a new team but he won’t give me details. It’s all classified and we don’t need to know,” he added. 

“But what…” Bucky started but Steve shrugged. 

“Medical and psych gave their okay,” Steve said and patted his shoulder. “You’re our eyes up high now.” 

“You want me to be the sniper?” Bucky asked and Steve half nodded, half shrugged. 

“If it were me I’d have you on the ground, but Fury said, you’re one hell of a sniper and we need one. So, that’s your job. For now.” 

“For now?” Bucky cocked his head. Steve shrugged again. 

“Come on in,” Steve said. “We have to talk about your contract.” Bucky nodded after a moment, threw his cigarette to the ground and stepped on it before he went back in with Steve. But not without looking one last time at the spot where Clint disappeared minutes ago.

***

“Clint?” Barney called into the living room. “It’s for you,” he said in the doorway, the receiver of the old fashioned phone in his hand. Clint, who lay on the couch, his new nephew in his arm, rose and smiled.

“For me?” He asked and turned to Laura to give her Nathaniel. She took the baby and smiled at him. 

“It’s a Dr. Murray,” Barney said. He furrowed his brows. “You okay?” 

“Oh yeah, it’s one of SHIELD’s doctor,” he explained. “You know, for my new assignment.” Barney nodded and gave him the receiver. 

“Yes?” Clint said and walked out of the living room and into the kitchen. 

“Mr. Barton,” the doctor said. “I have your bloodwork. And if you could spare a moment, I need to talk to you. But I would recommend you to come to my office.” 

“What? Why? Is something wrong?” He asked. Dr. Murray took a deep breath, he could hear it even through the receiver. 

“Yes, and no,” she said. “Please come to my office. We need to talk.”


	10. Chapter 10

“Agent Barton,” Dr. Murray greeted him when he entered the office. She pointed at the chair in front of her desk and sat down behind it. 

Clint nodded and took the seat. He had to admit he was a little nervous. What if the doctor had found the suppressants in his blood? Would she tell Phil? Would they ground him? Suspend him? Or worse? They were illegal, after all. 

“How do you feel, Agent Barton,” she asked and folded her hands over her stomach.

Clint frowned slightly, but nodded. “Good,” he lied. He was nauseous in the mornings and often had headaches in the evenings. Dr. Murray nodded slowly and reached for a file she had on her desk. She opened it and looked at the sheet inside. 

“There’s no point in beating around the bush,” she said. Clint nodded slowly and she continued, “What we found, Agent Barton, is that you’re pregnant.” 

Clint blinked a few times, looked at her incredulously. His mouth was painfully dry. 

“What?” He blurted then. 

“You’re fourteen weeks pregnant,” Dr. Murray said. Clint furrowed his brows, counted the weeks since he was with… with Barnes. 

“I… I had a heat. After the induced heat, I mean,” he said. “How’s that possible?” 

“The second heat was just an aftereffect from the induced heat. It sometimes has those side effects, Agent Barton.” 

“But how could that even happen? I mean, I’m on birth control. It shouldn’t have happened,” he asked. 

Dr. Murray took a deep breath. “Well, no form of birth control is one hundred percent safe. And Mr. Barnes got the super-soldier serum and…” She stopped and looked at her hands. 

“And… and what can I do now?” He asked. “I mean… I just got reinstated as an agent.” 

“It’s a difficult situation,” the doctor admitted. “Technically your job is too dangerous for the baby.” 

“But… I don’t…” Clint shook his head. It was Barnes’ child. _His_ child. “I don’t want to have it.” 

“Agent Barton,” Dr. Murray said, leaned forward and put her arms onto her desk. She folded them and licked her lips. “An abortion is not an option anymore. Your pregnant in the fourteenth week and abortions are only legal up to the twelfth week.” 

“But… but what can I _do_?” He wiped his face and ran a hand through his hair. “What can I do?” 

“There are always options, Agent Barton,” Dr. Murray said. “If you don’t want it you can give it to the father for example.” 

“You know what he did to me. Do you really think he’s the right person to raise a child?” He asked. The doctor looked at her file for a moment before she licked her lips again. 

“I see,” she said and cocked her head. 

“I could give it up for adoption,” Clint said and Dr. Murray nodded.

“Yes, that’s an option if your Alpha agrees,” she said. 

“What?” Clint gaped at her. “What do you mean if he agrees?” 

“He’s the Alpha in this relationship, Agent Barton. As of right it’s his decision what happens to the child,” she pointed out. Clint’s expression darkened. 

“What?” he asked again. 

“Law says that the Alpha decides what happens to children in a relationship,” she said. Clint rose. 

“First, there is no relationship! He forced me into a bond but there is no relationship! And second, I will not let someone like him near this child, even if _I_ don’t want it! And third…” he just shook his head. “I’m going to leave now.” 

“Agent Barton, please…” Dr. Murray rose and came around her desk. “It’s… you know that I have to inform your superior about your condition.” 

“You don’t have to. I’ll do it myself,” Clint lied. Like hell he would tell Phil about this. Maybe he wouldn’t throw him out of the team, but he would ground him at least the next six months. 

“Okay,” she nodded. “But I want to check on you every four weeks.” 

“Yeah, whatever.” Clint turned around and left, he didn’t say goodbye or anything, he just left. He had no idea whereto he walked, he just kept going, out of the building and to his bike. Before he mounted it he sent Phil a quick message to let him know that he wouldn’t come back today. 

He started the engine and drove away, no actual destination in mind. He just wanted to drive to clear his mind.

***

Laura just fed little Nate when she heard the engine of a motorcycle outside of the house. And she knew the sound of the engine. It was Clint’s bike.

“Barney,” she called, not too loud to startle the baby, but loud enough so her husband could hear her. 

“What’s up?” he asked and entered the kitchen the same time the door opened and Clint came in, his helmet in his hand. 

“Hey,” he said, put the helmet onto the counter and came over to Laura. “Hey, little one,” he said and smiled at the baby. Something wasn’t right with him and Barney saw it too, he shared a worried glance with her.

“Hey,” Barney went to him and pulled him in a hug. “I thought you’re off to save the world again.” 

“Yeah,” Clint said but his eyes flicked away for a second. “I have a day off and thought I look after my little nephew.” 

“You drove all the way out here to us just to visit Nate?” Laura asked. She couldn’t stand up, the baby still connected to her breast. 

“Yeah,” Clint said. He looked around as if he searched for something, someone. 

“The kids are out on a ride,” Barney said. He pointed at one of the chairs and Clint obediently sat down and only a minute later he held a steaming cup of coffee in his hands. 

“What’s wrong,” Laura asked. She knew Clint long enough to realize that something was really not okay with him. He swallowed hard, stalled for time by taking a sip of his coffee. 

“Everything’s fine,” he said then and both, she and Barney, could see that it was a lie. Maybe Clint was a good SHIELD agent, but he was a terrible liar when he was around them. Barney pursed his lip, but then he nodded.

“Okay,” he said eventually, got himself some coffee and sat down as well. “So, how’s your new job?” 

Clint took another sip from his coffee and shrugged. “Different,” he said then. “I mean, they’re all younger than me and… okay, not all of them. Phil and… and Melinda. You know Melinda. But the rest… they’re like twelve.” 

“Uh huh,” Barney said, a brow raised. 

“Okay, maybe not twelve, more like… fourteen. But… you know what I mean,” he said. 

“They’re young,” Barney said and nodded. “Are they good?” 

“Phil only picks the best,” Clint shrugged again.

Barney scrutinized him for a very long moment, before he shoved his mug aside and rose. “Come on, come with me,” he commanded. Clint frowned. But when Barney waved impatiently with his hand Clint rose and emptied his mug. Together they left the kitchen, walked over the yard and to the barn. 

“Okay, what’s wrong?” he asked as soon as they were inside. “You don’t drive sixteen hours just to see Nate.” Clint grabbed a bucket, turned it around and sat down on it. 

“Don’t tell Laura, okay,” Clint said. After a moment Barney nodded. “The SHIELD doctor made a few tests and…” he wiped his face. 

“They found something,” Barney mused. “He either gave you some serious STI or…” he stopped and frowned and when Clint nodded he took a deep breath. “How long?” 

“Fourteen weeks,” Clint said. He looked at his hands and nibbled at his nails. 

“Shit!” Barney cursed. “Shit! Shit! Shit! I’m going to shoot the bastard!” He spun on his heels and wanted to go back to the house. Clint knew that he had quite a collection of rifles and crossbows - safely locked away in a safe - in the basement. 

“Barney…” Clint rose and reached for his arm. 

“I’m going to kill the bastard. I’ll skin him alive and feed his hide to the pigs and…” He swore but when he looked at Clint he shut his mouth. “Sorry.” 

“You can’t shoot him, he’s a super-soldier, he’ll survive probably,” Clint said. Barney opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again and then he shook his head. 

“You’re a really weird person,” he said. 

“I know,” Clint sighed and sat back on the bucket. “I know and…” He looked at Barney. 

“What are you going to do now?” He asked. Clint shrugged. 

“Technically I have to tell him,” he said. “But… I don’t want to, you know.” Barney nodded. “I mean…” Clint looked at his hands again. “I asked for an abortion but it’s too late for that. But I can’t… I won’t let him have the baby and I can’t give it up for adoption without him. It’s…” 

“Fucked up,” Barney sighed. He grabbed a bucket, too, turned it around and sat beside Clint. “We’ll help you, Clint. We’re your family and we’ll help you.” Clint looked up and saw Barney smiling. 

“Thanks,” Clint managed before he had to swallow. 

“So, who knows about the baby?” 

“Me, you, the doctor… and Phil,” Clint said and when Barney furrowed his brows, he added, “I didn’t want to but when Dr. Murray said she would tell him, I had to bite the bullet.” Barney nodded. 

“Okay, we… we’ll manage that,” he said. “What did Phil say?” 

“He said he would support me and my decision,” Clint snorted. “In other words, desk duty.” 

“Shit,” Barney said. He knew how much his brother hated desk duty. “What are you going to do?” 

“I don’t know,” Clint admitted. “I guess I… I’ll sit a few months on my ass behind a desk. I just got reinstated, I can’t disappear again.” 

“Maybe you can talk to Phil and take a few months leave. You haven’t had any in the last years and I’m pretty sure you can cover it.” 

“That’s not the problem, Barney,” Clint sighed. “I have enough leave to stay at home for more than a year, but I don’t _want_ to! I want to do my job and not sit at home and get fat.” 

“Don’t think I can’t understand you, but think about the options you have. You can’t get an abortion, it’s too late for that. You can’t give the baby up for adoption without Barnes. The only option available is you get it and keep it. Otherwise _he_ would get it and you said you won’t do that.” 

“It’s so fucked up!” Clint leaned forward and pressed his face in his hands. 

“Clint,” Barney placed a hand on his shoulder. “We’ll help you,” he repeated. 

“Thanks, man,” Clint said. Barney smiled and nodded. 

“Okay, let’s get back to the house. Laura will probably know what to do,” he said. “She’s amazing, you know?” 

“That’s true,” Clint finally smiled and followed his brother to the house.

**Author's Note:**

> [asamandra on tumblr](http://asamandra.tumblr.com/)


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